How ordinary sounds can trigger extraordinary anger
Table of Contents
As a child in the 1980’s I remember that it was somewhat frowned upon to eat in public spaces such as trains or buses. I even recall one friend telling me that her mother had told her off for eating a snack whilst walking down the street.
Social etiquette at the time considered it as impolite, with older generations seeing it as improper behavior.
In hindsight, those norms may have shielded me from the growing discomfort I would later associate with certain sounds, it was only really in my late teens and early adulthood that I started to become aware that sometimes I could have quite an extreme aversion to the sound of crinkling plastic.
How Social Etiquette Has Changed Over Time
Fast forward to the present day and it’s a minefield to negotiate the soundscape.
This morning I caught the train and the person opposite started to tuck into their breakfast within minutes of me settling into my seat.
I had zero interest in what they were doing but every crinkle and rustle of the (numerous) packets cut through my consciousness despite my best efforts to focus on what I was reading.
This is misophonia in action—rising irritation, creeping unease, and an inner battle to stay composed while every.single.crinkle sets my nerves on edge.
Lots of people have never even heard of misophonia - I’ve had it called “your weird crinkle phobia” - but it's actually surprisingly common.
A study in the UK found that approximately 18% of the population experiences symptoms of misophonia that significantly impact their daily lives.
That’s about 12 million people in the UK alone!
These numbers alone suggest that for some reason it’s one of those problems that people just aren’t talking about.
What Is Misophonia? Understanding the Condition
Misophonia means “hatred of sound” and it is a condition characterised by the individual experiencing profound discomfort, accompanied by an intense emotional response to specific sounds.
Interestingly, research shows that misophonia might be more than just sensitivity; it’s linked to atypical brain responses, particularly in areas associated with emotional processing.
The person experiencing misophonia may feel angry, anxious, or disgusted…whilst simultaneously recognising that their reaction is out of proportion to the circumstances.
The irrationality of the reaction can be very confusing and distressing in and of itself.
Most people can empathise with the discomfort of hearing the sound of nails scraping down a blackboard - although Gen Z and Gen Alpha are probably lucky enough never to have experienced this - but it pales into insignificance compared to the visceral automatic reaction of a misophonia sufferer hearing a trigger sound.
Common Misophonia Triggers: Sounds That Cause Discomfort
The trigger sounds can be anything…with some being more common than others.
Eating and Drinking Noises:
- Chewing
- Crunching
- Slurping
- Swallowing
- Lip smacking
Breathing Sounds:
- Sniffling
- Heavy breathing
- Nose blowing
- Throat clearing
Repetitive or Mechanical Noises:
- Tapping (fingers, toes, pens)
- Clock ticking
- Mechanical humming or clicking
- Water dripping
But everyone is individual and the list is broad. Other examples are:
Other Auditory Stimuli:
- Knuckles/joints cracking
- Glasses or silverware clinking
- Nail filing or clipping
- Rustling of papers or fabric
Visual Triggers:
- Observing someone chewing with an open mouth
- Jiggling legs or feet
- Nose rubbing
The Emotional Toll of Misophonia: How It Feels to Experience It
A trigger that I particularly struggle with is the sound of rustling plastic.
It often catches me unaware because it’s not all plastic, just some varieties that have a certain frequency of crinkle/rustle - it immediately sends me into fight/flight mode and cuts across my consciousness no matter how focused I am on the thing I am doing at the time.
Another confusing thing for people who don’t experience misophonia is that when I’m making the trigger sound, it doesn’t bother me…well, most of the time.
I put that down to being in control - I can make the sound stop if it gets too much; although that isn’t always the case, and I do still find the sound overwhelming if, for example, I am trying to open a plastic packet that just won’t open…
Misophonia in Everyday Life: How It Impacts Daily Activities
Misophonia can significantly impact someone’s life, with avoidance being the main strategy that people tend to employ to overcome the reaction.
But avoidance isn't always possible - it really depends on what the trigger sounds are.
I have to admit that I avoid going to the cinema these days.
Once upon a time, snacks were quickly consumed in the interval but now it seems that people graze through the whole movie, and no matter how loud the soundtrack, all I can hear is the continual crinkling, crackling, rustling, snapping, scrunching, and slurping throughout the auditorium.
It’s interesting to note that just writing about it is starting to feel just a tiny bit uncomfortable!
Coping Strategies for Misophonia: Finding Relief
There are ways of managing misophonia, especially when avoidance isn’t possible.
There are various earplugs on the market that claim to help, although reviews seem to have very mixed reports, and for some people, it can actually make things worse.
How can that be?
This is because our brains are wired to seek auditory input and they will make adjustments based on our environment.
If we block sounds out completely (or at least significantly) then our brains will become more sensitive to soft sounds…but often trigger sounds are precisely that, soft sounds.
So by using earplugs, we might actually be making the problem worse because the triggering noises can seem louder or more intense when we then do then hear them.
Some people find more success with noise-cancelling headphones playing background music or white noise, although this is still an avoidance/blocking kind of strategy.
These ways are quite isolating, and they also hinder the opportunity to develop other kinds of coping skills for dealing with misophonia in everyday life.
How CBT and Exposure Therapy Can Help Misophonia Sufferers
Given that it’s me writing about this, it’s probably not going to surprise you to hear that CBT can be an effective approach for learning to manage misophonia.
CBT can help manage the perspectives and thoughts associated with triggering sounds - it might feel like your colleague is creaking their desk on purpose every time that they lean forward to type, but they’ve probably got no clue that they’re doing it.
When we develop the skills to reframe our thoughts it can help us to reduce the intensity of the challenging emotional responses.
With the support of a CBT therapist, you can also start to work on exposure therapy, which helps you to gradually tolerate the triggering sounds in a safe and controlled manner.
Over time, you become desensitized and find that the emotional response reduces alongside; this is the opposite of what happens when you avoid or block.
Some people find that strategies designed to calm the nervous system are helpful, such as calming mantras, affirmations, and breathing or mindfulness exercises.
These are all helpful for managing the anxiety and stress that arises with trigger sounds.
And counterconditioning is another approach that can be effective - pairing the trigger sound with a positive stimulus (eg a pleasant image) so that a new association is created, thus weakening the aversive response over time.
Living with misophonia makes me more attuned to the sensory world around me than perhaps I might be if I didn’t experience it, both for better and worse.
My endeavours to learn to manage it have taught me a valuable lesson in patience and compassion - both with myself and others.
The sounds may never go away, but the way I respond to them can evolve and is something within my control (even if sometimes my mind gives me the story that I can’t).
Why Awareness Matters: Supporting Those With Misophonia
Understanding and empathy from others can go a long way for those of us who experience this phenomenon.
Awareness is key - If we start to talk more openly about it, perhaps the next time someone sees us wincing at a crinkle or tapping, they’ll know that it’s not just a ‘weird quirk’—it’s something very real and worth showing some consideration.
After all, when there are 12 million people in the country who experience misophonia, then there’s a reasonable chance that you, as a non-sufferer, could be sharing a train carriage or movie theater with at least one person who is feeling angry at the sound of you opening and eating your packet of crisps.
FAQ about Misophonia:
Is misophonia a mental disorder?
Is there a cure for misophonia? Will it go away?
Are misophonia and tinnitus connected?
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References:
Vitoratou S, Hayes C, Uglik-Marucha N, Pearson O, Graham T, Gregory J (2023) Misophonia in the UK: Prevalence and norms from the S-Five in a UK representative sample. PLoS ONE 18(3): e0282777. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0282777
Swedo SE, Baguley DM, Denys D, Dixon LJ, Erfanian M, Fioretti A, Jastreboff PJ, Kumar S, Rosenthal MZ, Rouw R, Schiller D, Simner J, Storch EA, Taylor S, Werff KRV, Altimus CM, Raver SM. Consensus Definition of Misophonia: A Delphi Study. Front Neurosci. 2022 Mar 17;16:841816. doi: 10.3389/fnins.2022.841816. PMID: 35368272; PMCID: PMC8969743.
Edelstein M, Brang D, Rouw R, Ramachandran VS. Misophonia: physiological investigations and case descriptions. Front Hum Neurosci. 2013 Jun 25;7:296. doi: 10.3389/fnhum.2013.00296. PMID: 23805089; PMCID: PMC3691507.
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